And i keep waking up at 3:17am. It carried more significance this time, though. What a horrible dream. It's a bit faded but i want to do my best to recount...

I was walking with a King of some kind. He was revered by most but hated by some sects (you know, the usual affair). I saw him as a mentor. I even saw myself as a possible successor. I was walking with him, at his side, kind of playing audience to whatever musings or teachings he would give me. The walk started on a city street in a modern age. It was a quiet street though; decently lit with no hustle or bustle to speak of. We walked into the past. It wasn't gradual or at all theatrical--but jarring. The streets became cobbled, the street lamps were small flames now. It was night for the entire walk up til now. There were a few beggars strewn about the darker crevices along our walk. I don't know their real role in this dream, so..moving on. The more the King spoke, the more i felt myself coveting his wealth, and power. But through conversation, i felt him almost preparing to give me this wealth and power, maybe i was wrong.

The cobblestone sloped steeply downward as the talking became more intense. As he and i reached the trough of the now unlit street, day began to break behind us. This was it, he lead me down this street so he could die, and so i could be reborn as King. He bade me something; i don't know if a farewell or a curse or what, but i now "knew how it felt to endure hardship." What? I didn't understand, but i knew that all i had to do was walk back up the cobblestone alley and into the sunlight. That was my task. Just at that moment, i realized i had been tricked. I had fallen afflicted with something. I felt painful boiling ulcers forming on my back..and these massive lumps of bone blistering through my skin. My legs fell under the immense weight of my now rapidly deforming body. I was determined to climb the street into the waxing dawn above. My muscled burned all over as i forced my way up the street. I could barely lift my feet and could feel my body shutting down from the inside out. I knew i would die before i reached the light. I could only hear my mind's voice telling me: "this is karma."

And i woke up. 3:17am. What is so important about this number. This is the 5th or 6th time i've awakened to this exact number. The dream itself scared the hell out of me, for some reason. I could barely get back to sleep.

Gah..for now i'll chalk this up to an over-active imagination and a cruel biological clock.

Lately, i have been slow to become inspired. And i mean s l o w! I honestly lost a some sleep over it. I am starting to miss my 365 more and more now that i've become further removed from it..so a new project of sorts has naturally started to try and fill the void; the BMW Project. One skill that i think really grew in me during my year-long project was the ability to capture things as a documentary. Or, the skill of creating a telling chronicle of events, ya know? Anyway, the BMW Project has naturally developed into an ongoing effort of recording the goings on of my adventures in German motoring. The great thing about this project versus the 365 is that there is no defined "end" date. I am just going to keep recording all of the fun and not-so-fun i have with this car. That's inspiration, on four wheels. Check out the set as it stands here:


I have also found that Flickr continues to be an amazing source of inspiration. In the past couple weeks, i've stumbled upon a really inspiring photographer that has me fired up and wanting to shoot even more. I wish i could bottle her energy and positivity! I'd make millions.
First, let me introduce this photo by ayana.:
Photographically, her execution is really awesome. She has a great and creative eye and after a few clicks through her photostream, i am really inspired to push for the same creative spirit she displays in her photographs. This is my flat-out favorite photo in her stream so far. I'm a sucker for silhouettes and the slight lens flare plays off the red texture of the curtain so very well. Her pose is contemplative and evokes a bit of a melancholy feeling in me. She's framed excellently by the fringe of the curtain, too. It's just a great shot.

On another plane, it's so awesome to see more young black photographers picking up the glass! Maybe there are a lot more than i thought but honestly i don't know many. Please stop by her photostream and enjoy.

Labels: african-american photographer, bmw, e46, flickr, m3, personal project, red, self-portrait, silhouette

On the Marquee
Originally uploaded by optikal°

Note to self: buy CyberSyncs.

Maybe it was the fog or the general humidity; i don't know. Or, maybe i don't understand the limitations of the Nikon CLS. I assumed that *pitch black* darkness of the parking lot that i found myself in would lend itself to easy optical triggering of the flashes. But they would fire maybe 1 of 10 shots. It was very frustrating. They were working hard firing at 1/2 power, but i gave them plenty of time to recycle.

So that meant switching to plan B; bust out the Manfrotto and do some light painting. This is how it turned out.

Filament, No More
Originally uploaded by optikal.

Well, it happened a few days ago, but i hung on to the bulb cause i knew i'd want to take a couple photos. The removal of the blue-tinged bulbs of my high-school years made me think a bit harder about moving on to a more adult car. In my on-going search for a new car, i've narrowed down a few possibilities based on a criteria of ~230HP+, Rear-Drive or All-Wheel, Japanese or German.
(in no particular order)
- Nissan 350Z
- BMW M3 or 3-Series
- Lexus IS300
- Subaru STi
- **Toyobaru FT-86

Who knows.....but i need to start saving...

Encaged Fury
Originally uploaded by optikal.

The photo is unrelated...but one of my more colorful uploads of late.

Anyway, i wrote something on a piece of scrap at work when i had a moment, so i thought i'd transcribe it here:
"I think i nailed it in my conversational description of "what was happenin'" with me today. Ever watch the Simpsons? Remember when Bart gave away his soul to Milhouse? The automatic door at the Kwik E Mart wouldn't open for him... he couldn't even condense his breath on glass to write his name. That's pretty much how i feel It's not so much a fear that i've lost my soul but rather a feeling of general exclusion. Lately i've not photographed anything for myself...and it's taking its toll on me. I'm feeling like i'm wilfully closing the best outlet that i have... maybe a different kind of project would help; maybe not a project but a study. Yesterday i kicked around the idea of "One Prime: Thirty-Five Millimeters." But between this and the end of the day, i have to at least attempt something resembling work."

So(!) to comment on what i wrote.. i was really lacking in enthusiasm and vigor that tuesday morning. I still agree with myself though.. This weekend i was able to put that plan to action to some extent, and it felt GREAT (see yesterday's post).

I think i'm going to keep on shooting. :-)